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Yanbetari

Let's Play Linus Spacehead's Cosmic Crusade

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I agree. You should go send that letter. Who is the one you send it to, anyways? Your cousin? Your girlfriend? Your penpal?

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Blah. The results of my makeshift video editing system and insufficient quality check. Old video is down for the time being, while I reupload with the right audio track.

EDIT: There, fixed.

Edited by Yanbetari

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Chapter 6 - From Linograd with Love Apathy

We've visited most of the north. Now, it's time to tie up some loose ends. We've got a lot of places to go, but let's start with where we are.

Linus0601.png

> LOOK AT ... huh? No pointer? But I can see him right there? Well, what happens if I try anyway?

Linus0602.png

>> Which planet?

> The planet Earth!

>> Earth! Ha! That place is only a legend.

> It's not I've been there!

>> You're mad sonny! But if you want to get off Linoleum you will need help.

> Can you help me?

>> You've come to the right place sonny! Shady Lionel at your service!

> How can you help me?

>> Well I have a new line in used driving licences. One careful owner. Low mileage.

> Can I have one?

>> Sure sonny to you 50 bucks!

Linus0603.png

Who was that mysterious masked con-man? Oh, right. Shady Lionel. Well, if we're ever in need of a forger, we know who to call. Too bad he wasn't around when we needed a passport.

On second thought, getting a real one was easier and considerably cheaper.

Also, why are you still toting around the letter when there's a mailbox in Lino?

Side-effect of the Standard Adventure Character Pockets of Holding. When you can carry an arbitrary ammount of stuff, random items slip your mind. Doesn't help that I can only see 3 at a time, either.

Linus0604.png

An ambiguous cry for help? Clearly this is vital for us to move forward! To the Post Office!

Linus0605.pngLinus0606.png

And while we're at it... Yoink.

> PICK UP SURF BOARD

Linus0607.png

Of course he will! We sent him a letter, so he has to. In fact, he might have already!

Linus0608.png

Wait. I know how this works. I need to leave, then come back before the reply comes.

Linus0609.pngLinus0610.pngLinus0611.png

Or not. Curse you adventure game logic! You've failed me!

We're going to need something else to pass the time, it seems.

...

Oh, and GET SURFBOARD and surf that water like you were born to.

Works for me. We hang ten, and burn some time for the letter to arrive.

Linus0612.png

Yep, Linograd's just a quick map transition away!

Linus0613.png

Well, that was fun. Time to check out the sights and sounds of Linograd! Like that coiled thing in front of us!

Linus0614.png

You know, even though I've beaten it several times before, sometimes this game surprises me. But, hey, I'm not one to look a gift Fusewire in the mouth.

> PICK UP FUSEWIRE

> LOOK AT FUSE WIRE

>> It's long and thin and says 'fuse wire' on it.

Linus0615.png

Cool, a souvenir! And what about this guy?

Linus0616.png

Oh, great. Another border guard. And this one took lessons from Shady Lionel's School of Non-Interactivity. Only he's not polite enough to vanish after saying his piece.

Linus0617.png

Fine then, I don't need access to your stupid country. I can get to Earth just fine without it! Eh, who am I kidding? I'm going have to find some way in there.

Let's head back to Old Lino Town and see if we've got any mail.

Linus0618.png

Bingo! Correspondence! We got a letter from Linochev!

Linus0619.png

Wait a minute... This isn't just a letter from Linochev, it's a Letter from Linograd! This might be just the opportunity we need!

> LOOK AT LETTER FROM LINOGRAD

>> It says...

>> 'Go to Cape Carnival

>> All will be revealed'!

You heard the inanimate object! To Cape Carnival!

Linus0620.png

Oh, hey, that's new. A secret tunnel. Linus can barely contain his enthusiasm.

Let's go, Linograd awaits!

Linus0621.png

... why do I have a very bad feeling about this?

Just one new area this time, which we may not ever visit again.

ForeignSoilMap.png

With more Water, and the Fusewire we already took.

The stuff in our pockets...

  • Birth Certificate
  • 38 Gold Lino Dollars
  • Passport Photos
  • Old Lino Town Telekey
  • Dodgey City Telekey
  • Formica City Telekey
  • Letter From Linograd
  • Fuse Wire
  • Gunpowder
  • Surf Board
  • Cosmic Joke Book
  • Passport

Edited by Yanbetari

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Why do I have this weird tingle in my ear that says 'Go get that luminiscence mutation at a warp chamber'? Hmm... Like Inspector Holmez (Not Holmes!) would say, that dark, pitch black hole at Cape Carnival is 'suspicious, suspicious'. Better take note of it.

Also, it has come to my knowledge that you have enough stuff to make a rocket (A fuse wire, gunpowder... The only thing you would need is some case to put those, and something to light the fuse wire)

Edited by Sachiko Kotobuki

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Dangit, that's two videos I've messed up. Link from previous update should be fixed now...

Chapter 7 - Crawling in the Dark

Sorry for the delay folks, but we've only got video today. Subsequent puzzle solving will have to wait until next time.

But with this, we get to a new continent, and a new city.

LinogradMap.png

Featured here are the sewer Secret Tunnel we came from, another Teleport Machine, a matched set of Missile, Launch Pad and Bomb Shelter, plus a big wall blocking our progress east.

Our inventory hasn't changed.

Also, after watching my own video, I note that I seem kind of down on the whole game. It's not that bad, really. But if you have any feedback on my style or the game, please let me know. This is my first time doing this sort of thing, and I'd like it to be a learning experience.

Edited by Yanbetari

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As you said, this game is not platformer-regular friendly. Linus controls like...something that doesn't control well. A runaway bull, perhaps? Anyways, the game does provide some half-decent humor with the sometimes bizarre uses of items, like the Ballon. And whatever stuff you're faking is probably adding a lot to this LP. You'll have to tell us afterwards what isn't real, though.

For tips, I say we dismantle the missile and use its shell to make our own, Shinki said. And also raid the stores of the bomb shelter and eat until you're fat. Linus should get to steal from these idiots, since they forced him to use the worst sewer level I've seen in a while.

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Chapter 8 - Witty Reparte

All I have to say is long days at work are not conducive to creativity.

I say we dismantle the missile and use its shell to make our own. ... And also raid the stores of the bomb shelter and eat until you're fat.

Linus0801.png

Well, we can't take it as is. So we'll have to try disassembling first.

Linus0802.png

...

Linus0803.png

... What, no witty comeback about how I can't use it? No silly statement that gives an obtuse clue about it's actual use? Nothing at all? Fine. We can't use the Missile by itself. Then we'll do the next logical thing.

Linus0804.png

...

Linus0805.png

I'll be damned. The game's giving me the silent treatment.

Linus0806.png

"Is that a Launch Pad in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" Too bad the random retort generator didn't give us this one for the Missile. Any more great wisdom for us, game?

> LOOK AT MISSILE

>> It looks dangerous.

> LOOK AT LAUNCH PAD

>> This is a good place to put a missile.

...Maybe a little looting doesn't sound so bad after all.

Linus0807.png

Heheheh. "Now". Just you wait.

Linus0808.png

Finally, a clue! But what could we be missing?

Also, it has come to my knowledge that you have enough stuff to make a rocket (A fuse wire, gunpowder... The only thing you would need is some case to put those, and something to light the fuse wire)

Well, this provides the case, but where can we find something to light it?

(Watch the first half, then come back.)

TheCavesMap.png

Ancient abandoned caves! And all I had to do was dodge a half-dozen kamikaze monsters... Okay, maybe they were abandoned for a reason.

Linus0809.png

As opposed to spending their lives living behind counters and being generally unhelpful. Actually, that probably explains things. All the Linomen who weren't complete jerks got on ships and flew to other worlds, rather than deal with the rest of them. However, while this archealogical find is interesting, it's not why we're here.

Linus0810.png

This is why.

> PICK UP MATCH STICK

Now, we're ready to give that Missile another shot. Er, methaphorically speaking. Anything else in here?

Linus0811.png

Nope, nothing else he-oly crap the pictures are watching me! OKAY, LEAVING. NOW.

Alright, Missile prep, take 2.

Linus0812.png

Nope. Still missing something. But what else could a Missile need?

Linus0813.png

By George, I think he's got it! To Old Lino Town!

Linus0814.png

Yeah, screw you too, game.

...a long walk later...

Linus0815.png

> Can I have it?

>> You seem to have everything needed to make a bomb so you can have the targetting device

> Gee thanks!

Your tax dolars at work.

Linus0816.png

Rassa-fragging lousy international calling...

Now, let's do this right!

Linus0817.png

I swear the game is somehow writing this with a sarcastic tone. I either spend too much time on IRC, or I've been playing this game too long.

Linus0818.png

~The Fuse Wire's connected to the... Gunpowder!~

Linus0819.png

About dang time.

Linus0820.pngLinus0821.pngLinus0822.png

Now... where to put this? Dodgey City? Formica? Old Lino Town?

Linus0823.png

Oh, who am I kidding? We all know there's only one place that deserves to be nuked above all others.

Linus0824.png

What?! No! Not Linograd! That's where I am!

Linus0825.pngLinus0826.pngLinus0827.png

Oh, hell. This is what I get for using a second-hand targetting device. RUUUUUUN!

Linus0828.pngLinus0829.pngLinus0830.png

Wow. That missile packed a punch. I wonder if I'm the only one who survived. The last Linoman on Linoleum...

Pfft. I should be so lucky.

(See part 2 of the same video as earlier.)

Linus0832.png

Drat. Stopped again.

New areas!

TheCavesMap.png

An ancient archeological find with Cave Paintings that we've already looted the Match Stick from.

NoMansCausewayMap.png

A rocky outcropping with a Teleport Key and a jump we can't make.

The stuff in our pockets...

  • Birth Certificate
  • 38 Gold Lino Dollars
  • Passport Photos
  • Old Lino Town Telekey
  • Dodgey City Telekey
  • Formica City Telekey
  • Letter From Linograd
  • Surf Board
  • Cosmic Joke Book
  • Passport

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Hmm... Something tells me that, in order to pass that causeway, you're gonna need something that makes you able to teleport!

And, seeing those teleports kind of have side-effects after you use them... Are you thinking the same as me?

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Chapter 9 - Deep Hurting

Short update today. You'll see why...

Hmm... Something tells me that, in order to pass that causeway, you're gonna need something that makes you able to teleport!

And, seeing those teleports kind of have side-effects after you use them... Are you thinking the same as me?

Linus0901.png

Got it in one.

Linus0902.pngLinus0903.png

A long walk back, then we teleport to Linograd. You've seen this all before.

Linus0904.png

And as our reward, we become Superlinoman.

Does this make us faster than a speeding bullet? No.

Does it make us more powerful than a locomotive? No.

Does it let us actually take more than one hit in a platforming segment. Of course not.

Linus0905.png

It does, however, let us leap this large gap in a single bound. That's right, just this one.

You Are Here:

|

V

NoMansCausewayEastMap.png

A rocky outcropping with a Teleport Key... deja vu all over again.

You are carrying:

  • Birth Certificate
  • 38 Gold Lino Dollars
  • Passport Photos
  • Old Lino Town Telekey
  • Dodgey City Telekey
  • Formica City Telekey
  • Linograd Telekey
  • Letter From Linograd
  • Surf Board
  • Cosmic Joke Book
  • Passport

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Chapter 10 - Just a Hop, Skip, and a Jump Away

What!? Another short update today. Is Yan getting lazy? (Yes, but that's beside the point.) The reason for this is simple.

It's

And thus opens up everywhere we need to go to get off this rock. So it's time to start tying up loose ends. If there's something on Linoleum you want to see before we leave, let me know.

Places:

LinovilleMap.png

A Teleport Machine, and a Door we can't reach.

BusDepotMap.png

Nothing here.

Our inventory hasn't changed any.

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Hmm. The teleporter helped you super-jump last time, will it help again?

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You didn't get that Telekey on the outcropping on the end of No Man's Causeway, did you? Grab it (it's probably the Linoville Telekey), hop through the Linoville teleporter to somewhere that isn't Linograd, then hop to wherever that Telekey you picked up takes you to and see if that does anything awesome, like help you get to that door in Linoville somehow.

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Yep, you once again must use teleporters. I'm pretty sure the cool effect it will give you will allow you to pass that door.

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