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Blaine Kodos

Let's Play Something With Class

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The world can be a crummy place. People lie, cheat, steal.. corruption runs rampant. Sometimes it feels like the only thing that makes a man good is his price is set higher than most. Make you wonder why anyone bothers tryin' to be good anymore. Me, I was never what you'd call good to start with. I spent my youth runnin' around the streets, learnin' to live off the work of the better-offs. At least til a cop ran me down. It was my first brush proper with Johnny Law and let me tell you.. it wasn't fun.

I got taken downtown, given the once-over and was all set for a nice nine-square hotel room for the next few months when somethin' happened. The chief of the precinct told me he would get me out with a warnin'. I didn't believe him, til he told me the layout of the deal. If I used my skills to help make a bust--the bust that'd make his career--he'd let me off with a wrist-slap. It was worth takin' a shot at.. and before long I was free as a bird.

But I had a taste of bein' man instead of bein' run down by him.. and I liked it. So before long I got me a shiny badge of my own, and a beat with a pretty dark fella. I ain't never had nothin against skintone, but dark summed this guy up real good. Always looked to make a small hit into a big one.. plantin guns an' shit like that. Never liked the dick. And sure enough, before long he fucked up. And when he did, he put it all on me. I may have been clean since wearin the tin but I had a past.. and it caught up with me. So after just a few years on the force I was on the streets again. I opened up a agency to keep the streets clean rather'n dirty.

Who am I?


I'm Montgomery E. Owth, Private Investigator. And this is the story of my life.

Chapter 1

Ever since I was a kid, I loved the Pokécity Park. One'a the few places a man could just relax and watch the world turn. Sometimes I'd pull my hat down and doze off a little. And why not? It was nice and peaceful. The only place in this city where it was, too. That particular mornin', I was engaged in a nice quiet review of my life when..



I knew that voice. I tilted my hat up and sure enough..



Yep, it was him. Meet my assistant, Cynd A. Quil. Cute kid, got a lot of fire in 'im. A little too much if you asked me, but his heart was in the right place. He just needed some guidance. more importantly, he needed to know when you let a sleepin' cat lie.

"Yeah, great.. thanks for the rude awakenin', kid." I said with my usual demeanor. "I'm just out here keepin an eye on the people. Don't I look like a silent enforcer out here?"



Like I said, cute kid. I ain't never had the heart to just reach over an' claw his eyes til he opened the damn things to the world. That's probably why I let him hang around. Truth be told, I was out here for somethin..


Damned if I can remember what.

"Look kid, this is why I'm the detective and you're just the assistant. Keep yer nose clean and outta my business, ya hear?" I said.

"Aww, don't be like that Monty, sir." He came back "I'm just tryin ta help!" And he was right. I couldn't stay mad at him. And not on such a quiet day, neither.


Well so much for that.


He may be a little slow but he's sharp as a tack. Last assistant I had used ta run whenever he heard a yell...


And that's when I remembered why I was out nappin' in the park.. ta get away from work for the afternoon. Sure as shootin', a dame suddenly appeared in my view. Not a bad lookin' bird, but not quite my tastes. Nice wings, though.


Before I could even get my tone ready to ease the poor thing, Cynd shot out with the obvious. Kid had a lot to learn about talkin' to dames. She shot right past small talk and into the thick of it.


"A huge fissure opened in the ground, and my Caterpie fell in!" She blurted, scared as a dame could be. "He's too young to crawl out by himself!"

The area around Pokécity wasn't really one for earthquakes. But lately a whole lot of shit had started to go down. Quakes, floods, freak windstorms, you name it.. fucking apocalypse shit, let me tell ya.

"Easy easy, lady.. don't get yer panties in a bunch." I said.. without the element of surprisin' a girl, I admittedly didn't have much ta work with. "Why not just go down there and get 'im? Them wings can't just be for show."


"I'm not strong enough to fend off those wild Pokémon!"

Now that sounded like trouble. I couldn't blame her, some of the locals can be rough customers, especially out where cops are scarce. I looked over at Cynd, and he looked right back at me. I may not be one'a them squeaky clean comic book heroes, but Monty Owth's never turned down a dame in distress. Not now, not ever.


"Took the words right outta my mouth, kid." I replied, as I grabbed my coat and started off to the car, Cynd right behind. He jumped into the shotgun seat like his ass was on fire as I slid in, stopping mid-step to turn to the poor shaken dame.

"Don't worry, we'll have 'im back in time for dinner.. Monty Owth's on the case."

NEXT TIME: Tiny Woods

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Welcome to Let's Play Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team!

This is my first attempt at LP since I love them. If you want an accurate telling of this game... go elsewhere. I'm doing this my way and you all will like it! Please like it.

I'll continue to do this in as much a detective/film noir style as I can, but it hinders on how well I can write. So.. strap in, it'll be interesting.

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I was actually going to do it once I have an office in-game.

EDIT: I have no idea how this reply ended up BEFORE the post I was replying to...

Edited by Blaine Kodos

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You, dear sir, have beaten my sandwich with the shear weight of your class! Class, I say!

That said, for the love of god finish this thing!

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This is going to be...interesting. Yes, very much so. Make sure you sneak in some Humphrey Bogart detective in this.

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Chapter 1 cont


We pulled up to the site of the fissure not long after.. thanks in part t'my driving. Some might call it reckless, but we had a kid ta save. Cynd an' I got out and took the lay of the land. The forest near the outskirts of Pokécity (called Tiny Woods in an effort ta make the place seem more "family friendly") had gotten caught in the quake, makin' a sort of trench-like cavern right through.

That wasn't all that was around, either. Off to the side I could see somethin' sparklin' in the corner of my eye...


Cash. Money. The root of all evil. Just layin' at the entrance, beggin' to be taken. I might be a man of honor, but I'm still a Meowth.. curse of my species to dive for shiny objects the first time I sees em. Don't you go judgin' me neither. There's three things that nature says have to go in the world. A man's gotta eat, a dame's gotta pull men along, an' a Meowth's gotta have a shiny coin. I didn't even see the punk nearby, watchin' me. Cynd was too busy tryin ta get me to let it lie to see him either.


A'fore I knew it, the little bastard pecked me in the arm.

"Y'little punk!" I said aloud, as one is expected to do. He grinned at me like he held all the cards, bobbin' an' weavin' like some kinda prize fighter. Let me tell ya, there's one thing Monty Owth can't stand more'n corruption.


Arrogance. Little prick went down clean, a simple hard shove to his chest and he was out like a light. Cynd hadn't even had time to put up 'is dukes before I laid him out.. which is just as well. Poor kid didn't even have fingers. I dusted off my fist and kept goin. The cave area was pretty big actually.. mostly empty too. I ain't afraid of the dark and quiet, but Cynd.. kid's the sunny type. Havin him down in a cavern with just me ta back 'im up was makin him a little jumpy.

"Monty.." he said, stickin close ta my back. "Do ya think this is really natural..?"


"I gotta tell ya kid.. I'm startin ta wonder myself." I answered. A lot of this seemed too convenient.. earthquakes make holes in the ground, they don't make caves. Especially not in upwards of ten minutes.. plus five for the commute, a'course.


"Another dead end." This was gettin' ridiculous. We doubled back to the little.. I guess you could call it a hallway, back to the previous room.


Somebody knew we were here. More importantly, there was something behind the punk standing in my way.. stairs. I've seen a lot of shit in my life, but stairs in a recently formed cavern ain't one of em. The Pidgey ran at me while I was thinkin, but when he got close enough I tripped 'im up and sent 'im into the wall. Amateurs.

"I think you're onto somethin, Cynd.. this place ain't natural. I think the quake just opened 'er up instead of makin 'er." I said, looking over the stairs. Cynd only muttered agreement. He hated when he was right, an' he knew I knew it. Still, we had a kid ta save. I pulled my hat down and headed down the stairs, Cynd followin' behind like he had been before.


We stumbled on a sleepin' Pidgey on the next floor. Punk just slept through an earthquake? Real tight security 'round here. I waved Cynd over to 'im and on my signal he punched 'im hard in the beak. He was asleep to start, I just wanted to make sure he stayed asleep.


I hadn't moved too far south before I bumped into someone else. A Sunkern.. bad seed if I'd ever seen one. He got the drop on me with a headbutt. I stumbled back into Cynd a bit, startled more'n anythin' else. I wiped a little blood from the corner of my mouth and socked him right back in the grill. For a guy who just headbutted someone, he had a glass jaw, and slumped back against the wall.



The whole experience was reawakenin some of my senses. I hadn't met so much resistance in such a small span of time for quite a while. Kinda felt good, actually. As for Cynd, he was learnin new stuff every day.


We went on again, keepin' a good eye on where we were goin' now. After a while, we found another Sunkern. Only this one was asleep. Now, this guy in particular didn't do me no harm.. but I was agitated. I walked up to 'im, pulled up on his leaf and punched him square in the jaw. Glass jaws must be a species trait, because he want out for a big snooze just as quick as the last one.


We rounded a corner, which.. led to nothing. not even an empty room. I swore and turned on my heel to get back to the rest of the cavern. Cynd looked a little nervous, and I can't blame the kid. I don't lose my cool often, but this was just irritatin'. I went back to that Sunkern, picked him up again and gave him another punch to the jaw. Not his fault it was a dead end, but you know.. actually it could have been his fault. For the sake of argument, let's say it was. Movin' on..


We found another set of stairs, and at the bottom was a welcome sight.. some poor bastard left his lunch layin' out. I picked it up--just an Oran Berry, but food is food--and took a bite as we walked on. This place was damned deep for just a club house for punks. I was startin' to think somethin' more sinister was up.


I didn't have much time to think. The way ahead was blocked with two Pidgeys, lookin' proud of themselves. I pushed Cynd back a bit, an' motioned for them ta come and get some of Monty.




Apparently they weren't hungry. I had Cynd help me toss em up against the wall ta make some elbow room, and we went on our merry way.


Around the corner, I saw a Wurmple. Now I can understand a few upstart Pidgeys and Sunkern... but what was a Wurmple doing down here? Most of those kids were sweet, wouldn't hurt a fly. But this one reared up its tail spines and tried to look threatenin'. I turned and walked away. I didn't want to go hittin a kid the same age as one we were there ta save. He followed, hittin' me in the back of the head. For a little guy, he stung. I turned around to face him down, maybe scare him off..


And Cynd hit the kid right in the chops. Dropped him faster'n the Prom Queen's dress after the dance floor closes. I looked in surprise, but Cynd just shrugged. He didn't need to do that. He seriously didn't. I gave 'im a good sock to the arm ta set him straight and kept walkin. I didn't like how this was goin'. We stopped though, when we heard him start coughing behind us. I turned around and he was crawlin' towards me with a determined look. He didn't make it far before he passed out, but he did say somethin' that shook me to the core.

"The.. master.. said to stop you.."


We found the stairs down, but my mind was starting to fly off the handle. "The Master?" Who the hell was that? More importantly, why was he makin' a kid that young fight an adult? Then I started ta notice somethin. Pidgeys. Sunken. They weren't too young, but they were still on the young side. A Wurmple further in who looked like he was possessed..

No. No, that couldn't be it.



At the bottom of these stairs was just one room, with a sad and scared little Caterpie up against the far wall, crying into the stone. We'd found our boy. Cynd got there first.. statistics an' what-have-ya said that kids always felt more comfortable with people closer ta their ages, so Cynd was the good choice. I stood in back, watchin' the door.



Caterpie looked up at Cynd with wet eyes and hugged onto his shirt for dear life, cryin his big eyes out. Cynd picked him up and I escorted the two of em outta the cavern. We didn't have any other trouble, though I radioed the cops once we got back to the car. Those kids needed to be round up and question.. that Master business wasn't settin' right.

When we got back ta the park, mama Butterfree was waitin'. Her eyes lit up like the Fourth of July when she saw her baby again, as Cynd set him down and let him scurry back ta her.


"Well.." I started. I had a better shot this time, and who knows.. a little dinner, a little dancing.. maybe she'd look more my type. Unfortunately..


"It was great to find your little boy unharmed!" Dammit, Cynd. I was gonna hafta talk to that boy real good when we got back to the office.

"Well thank you all the same, Mr. Owth!" she went on. It was nice to see her in better spirits anyway. "And..?"


I stifled a laugh.. poor kid. I turned over towards the little kid we'd just rescued.. and he was starin' right back.





I rubbed the back of my head. I'd never been looked at with quite that much adoration before, y'know? I turned to his mom after lettin' him know I noticed and wasn't just gonna blow 'im off.. too many heroes to kids these days do that.





After handing us a healthy lunch, mama Butterfree took her son and left with a smile on her face. Yeah, that's right. Monty Owth risked his neck for a little kid and some lunch. If ya don't like it, the door's over there. Some things are just worth doin'.


"Yeah yeah," I said, heading back ta the car. "All in a day's work, kid.. come on, let's get back ta the office."


Home sweet home. And I mean that, I live in back of the office. It's not much, but it serves its purpose.


"For some reason, there have been many natural disasters lately." he continued. "Because of those disasters, many Pokémon are suffering... I want to help Pokémon in these tough times. I want to help change things so all the Pokémon can live in peace."

"...Cynd, what name is on the front of the office?" I replied. Cynd looked confused, but answered without looking over.


"Exactly." I said "Which means I'm the detective here. Everyone wants to make the world better, but stick ta the cases ya can take. Ya got me?" He nodded sadly. Aww.. the poor, idealistic little runt. I patted him on the shoulder. "Look.. you wanna do the thing?" He smiled and nodded.


"Job well done!"

NEXT TIME: Magnemites! BZZ!

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Blaine-kun, you have to share a part of your ass kicking powers to us.

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Keep on showing those mind-controlled punks what for, M. E. Owth. Kids these days have no respect, eh?

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